Jeremy Guthrie and Jonathan Sanchez belong in a Russian novel. Both pitchers were acquired, by the Rockies and Royals respectively, this past offseason in their final years of arbitration-eligibility before hitting free agency. And both were astonishingly, unfathomably bad.
Guthrie threw 90.2 innings in Colorado, and the Rockies painfully learned that a flyball pitcher and Coors Field don't mix. Guthrie allowed 21 home runs, leading to a 6.35 ERA. His WHIP: 1.68. His brief demotion to the bullpen was what led to the Rockies' weird four-man rotation thing. He's being paid $8.2 million. And what did the Rockies give up to acquire this gem? Only Jason Hammel, who emerged as a legitimate front-of-the-rotation starter for the Orioles this season.
Jonathan Sanchez accomplished the seemingly impossible task of being a worse pitcher than Jeremy Guthrie. His ERA for the Royals was at 7.76 before they recently designated him for assignment. He achieved the Holy Grail for bad pitchers--notching more walks (44) than strikeouts (36) in just 53.1 innings. He lasted more than five innings exactly once in 2012. Salary: $5.6 million. And what did the Royals give up to acquire this utterly lost, formerly-major-league pitcher? Only Melky Cabrera, the league-wide hits leader and All-Star Game MVP.
So, in the only logical course of action, the Rockies and Royals finally decided to throw up white flags. On Friday, the two teams swapped Jeremy Guthrie and Jonathan Sanchez, each hoping to dump their humiliating bust on the other in the most depressing transaction in recent memory.
The only relevant commentary is that this trade is akin to two sick men, lying in adjacent hospital beds, irrationally hoping for just a little relief to their pain by agreeing to trade diseases.
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