For some reason, spring training generates some of the most depressing and/or pathetic news stories ever manufactured. Check out some of these recent baseball headlines from around the Internet:
JENKS TO COPS: "I TOOK TOO MANY MUSCLE RELAXERS"
Red Sox reliever Bobby Jenks was arrested on DUI charges, and apparently he blamed his helter-skelter driving (and uncontrollable shaking) on too many muscle relaxers. Also: the police report quotes Jenks as basically admitting that he was driving so fast because he had just committed a hit-and-run. Smoothly handled by Jenks.
RYAN MADSON OUT FOR SEASON
Madson took a one-year deal to be the Reds' closer and inflate his value for a long-term contract in the winter. Instead, he'll have Tommy John surgery, miss the year, and cost himself millions of dollars. The Reds, meanwhile, now see over $8 million go down the drain and they'll be probably be forced to delay Aroldis Chapman's move to the rotation. Very sucky.
GIANTS SHOPPING RYAN THERIOT & MIKE FONTENOT
I expect the follow-up headline will be: "Giants Officials 'Shocked' That No Teams Show Interest In Their Crappy Middle Infielders."
JOBA CHAMBERLAIN DISLOCATES ANKLE IN FREAK TRAMPOLINE ACCIDENT
If Joba's career didn't already deserve an ESPN "30 for 30" special, it most certainly does now.
CARDINALS ACE CHRIS CARPENTER OUT INDEFINITELY
Apparently he has a nerve condition in his shoulder. Bad stuff for Carpenter. Bad stuff for the Cards. Bad stuff all around.
PHILLIES HAVE INTEREST IN YANKEES' RAMIRO PENA
You Know Your Infield Situation Is Iffy When: you have interest in the Yankees' backup backup utility infielder, the proud owner of a .233 career batting average.
ORIOLES TO SIGN DONTRELLE WILLIS
Baltimore and the D-Train. A match made in heaven.
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