Presented Without Comment or Context: Some Jose Canseco Tweets

Once upon a time, Jose Canseco was putting up the first 40-homer, 40-steal season in baseball history. Now, Canseco serves the greater good by imparting nuggets of wisdom from his Twitter account. Here are some of the highlights, all from this past month alone, which provide a small window into one of the great minds of this generation. His scattered Oscars commentary is surpassed only by his profound musings on gravity.

I will always have my sweet sweet guns
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 7, 2013

What all does a Pope do
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 11, 2013

Why are all the Popes old men?They need younger strong men or women to be popes with energy that can last a while and get stuff done.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 11, 2013

Time for a Pope from the new World.Europe has had the job for a couple of thousand years and could use our help.
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 11, 2013

Vaticanseco
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 11, 2013

I am in the wigwam
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 12, 2013

Why is lent a negative
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 13, 2013

They laughed at Galileo
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 13, 2013

How did the morons get into Alabama
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 14, 2013

who let the dogs out
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 15, 2013

No way was that a meteor in russia today
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 15, 2013

north korea do the math
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 15, 2013

Governments think truth is a poison that will kill them
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 15, 2013

More thoughts on gravity tomorrow
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 18, 2013

Ancient gravity was much weaker
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

You ever wonder why nothing REALLY big exists today in nature
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

elephants today eight tons supersaurs two hundred tons a totally different world. why?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

Animal tissue of muscles and ligaments could not support huge dinosaurs even standing up or pump blood up 60 foot necks
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

I may not be 100% right but think about it.How else could 30 foot leather birds fly?
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 19, 2013

FAscinated by rocketry travel.Lots of good info at rocketryforum.com
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 20, 2013

jen aniston has too much dress on
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 25, 2013

I know mel has had some issues but dam i could watch braveheat until my eyes bleed
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 25, 2013

bill shatner is not appreciated enough he is a giant
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 25, 2013

i do like the jaws theme
— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) February 25, 2013

Twitter Reacts To What Happened Last Night

Every once in a while, baseball has one of THOSE nights. Last year, it was Game 162, and the David Freese Game in the World Series. This year, it was last night. Because it is impossible to capture with words what happened in the wee hours of Wednesday night and Thursday morning, here are some select real-time reactions from Twitter that do a much better job of showcasing raw emotion and shock than postgame recaps or SportsCenter segments.

First: Orioles-Yankees, Game 3, around midnight.

Just keep it tied until Raul bats again.
— Mike Axisa (@mikeaxisa) October 11, 2012

RAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
— Mike Axisa (@mikeaxisa) October 11, 2012

Oh my God.
— David Cameron (@DCameronFG) October 11, 2012

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUL
— Mike Axisa (@mikeaxisa) October 11, 2012

Move over David Freese.
— David Cameron (@DCameronFG) October 11, 2012

RAUAHAHAHAHA
— Mike Axisa (@mikeaxisa) October 11, 2012

I just...Raul Ibanez...I...what?...Raul Ibanez.
— Paul Swydan (@Swydan) October 11, 2012

I am dead. I just died.
— Craig Calcaterra (@craigcalcaterra) October 11, 2012

+.827 WPA. Raul Ibanez just had the fifth biggest playoff game in baseball history. With two at-bats.
— Mike Axisa (@mikeaxisa) October 11, 2012

I hate everything, but especially Raul Ibanez
— Jonathan Bernhardt (@jonbernhardt) October 11, 2012

So cool! #Raul
— Phil Hughes (@PhilHughes65) October 11, 2012

The best part is Raul just trotting to first, no smile or anything, like "Yeah, I know, what of it?"
— Bloggie McBlogger (@yagottagotomo) October 11, 2012

Raul Ibanez hit .197 with no homers against lefthanders in the regular season.
— Adam Ronis (@AdamRonis) October 11, 2012

Before 5 minutes ago, Raul Ibanez hasn't hit a HR off a lefty since July 26, 2011. And even that one was off Barry Zito..
— Bret Sayre (@dynastyguru) October 11, 2012

Baseball is so weird.
— Productive Outs (@ProductiveOuts) October 11, 2012

Ibanez becomes 1st player in postseason history w/2 HR in a game he didn't start
— Alex Speier (@alexspeier) October 11, 2012

Orioles 0-3 in extra innings against the Yankees, 16-0 in extra innings against everyone else
— Jeff Sullivan (@LookoutLanding) October 11, 2012

So the Yanks have 2 wins all year when trailing after 7, and in both, Ibanez had both the game-tying AND game-winning hits.
— Tristan H. Cockcroft (@SultanofStat) October 11, 2012

Kuroda's best quotation of the year. Said Ibanez's performance seemed like it was something out of "a cartoon."
— Jack Curry (@JackCurryYES) October 11, 2012

Nick Swisher could be heard from the shower yelling "EXCITEMENT OVERLOADDDDD!!!!"
— Daniel Barbarisi (@DanBarbarisi) October 11, 2012

Orioles: "Seriously? Raul Ibanez? That doesn't make any sen-" /look in mirror "oh right"
— Jeff Sullivan (@LookoutLanding) October 11, 2012

One to ring to Raul them all.
— Matt Sussman (@suss2hyphens) October 11, 2012

Second: Tigers-Athletics, Game 4, around 1 A.M.

Can the A's pinch-hit Raul Ibanez here? Not totally sure of how baseball rules work.
— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) October 11, 2012

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
— King Kaufman (@king_kaufman) October 11, 2012

AND THERE WILL BE A GAME FIVE
— The Outside Corner (@Outside_Corner) October 11, 2012

SWEEEEEET MOTHER OF GOD
— Jason Wojciechowski (@jlwoj) October 11, 2012

Coco Crisp! Redemption!
— Daniel Moroz (@CamdenCrazies) October 11, 2012

Bob Melvin > Philip Seymour Hoffman
— SportsPickle (@sportspickle) October 11, 2012

joke's on you guys, Valverde still has a dance for this
— Jeff Sullivan (@LookoutLanding) October 11, 2012

The American League is batting 1.000 for walk-offs tonight.
— Mike Baumann (@MJ_Baumann) October 11, 2012

God I love this game.
— Mike Axisa (@mikeaxisa) October 11, 2012

That was fun. Anyone know if there's a game tomorrow? <checks schedule> HELL YEAH
— Rany Jazayerli (@jazayerli) October 11, 2012

Four more games on Thursday, but they'll have to work hard to top this.