This Is Bad Logic

ESPN.com had the following poll up on its website:

The potential answers to the poll are poorly set up. The fact that we should evaluate Miguel Cabrera's MVP case differently depending on whether or not he wins the Triple Crown is bogus. Apparently, 30% of people would pick as their MVP regardless of his Triple Crown chase. BUT 41% of people would pick Cabrera as their MVP only if he DOES win the Triple Crown. I would love to meet those people and talk to them for a little while. This is what I would say:

"Hi, 41% of ESPN.com visitors who took this poll. I have a scenario for you. Pretend Miguel Cabrera finishes the season with 43 home runs, okay? Now, if Josh Hamilton ends up with 42, Cabrera would win the Triple Crown, so he would be your MVP, right? Okay. So if Hamilton finishes with 44 home runs, Cabrera would not win the Triple Crown, so he wouldn't be your MVP, right? All right. Do you not realize that Cabrera's value was exactly the same in both scenarios? Do you not realize that you changed your mind about Cabrera's worthiness for MVP based on a couple extra home runs hit by another player not even in the conversation for MVP? Do you not realize the complete absurdity of using Josh Hamilton's home run total or Joe Mauer's batting average to determine an MVP race between Miguel Cabrera and Mike Trout?" At this point, my head would implode and the conversation would end abruptly.

I'm concerned for the future of this country when I see that all but a few states are colored green, meaning they don't understand this logic. Anyway, the 41% aren't the only ones who are wrong. The 30% are wrong too, for picking Cabrera over Trout. The 41% are just wrong AND stupid. The 29%, though? Those guys are groovy. Alaskans, Californians, Utahns, and Mississippians have always been my kind of people.

With Respect to the Monday Night Football Debacle

I don't have any comment on the most bizarre ending to any football game since the California Bears. Enough will be said about that by everyone else in the world. Rather, the most entertaining part of the entire surreal scene was this quote from former NFL coach and TV color man Jon Gruden at the end of the game:

"There's no way Green Bay should have to fly 6,000 miles home after losing a game like this."

Because apparently, Jon Gruden thinks Green Bay is a suburb of Beijing.

Great Moments in Hasty Internet Publishing

My apologies, ESPN.com, but what exactly did Curtis Granderson hit a pair of?

'Baseball Tonight': On ESPN2, 1 a.m. ET

• NYY5
• BOS4

• F
• Recap

Lowering The Boom

Behind Curtis Granderson's pair of homets, the Yankees held onto their lead.Hot Button »Jeter hurt »Olney   ESPN NY » ESPN Boston »

David Butler II/US Presswire
I'ms

A Study in Microcosms: The New York Jets

Having stumbled upon the box score of Sunday night's currently-ongoing NFL preseason game, this poetically symmetrical archetype of Jets-ness was discovered:

NY Jets Rushing
	CAR	YDS	AVG	TD	LG
S. Greene	1	1	1.0	0	1
Team	1	1	1.0	0	1

For the curious reader, this is illustrated in slightly greater detail in the Play-by-Play archive, shown here:

1st and 10 at CAR 30

S.Greene right end to CAR 29 for 1 yard (J.Anderson).

And also note the following play, just because:

2nd and 9 at CAR 29

(No Huddle, Shotgun) M.Sanchez pass short right to S.Greene to CAR 32 for -3 yards (L.Kuechly).

Screenshot: Tebow's Magic At Work Again

Tim Tebow's New York Jets lost their first preseason game to the Bengals, 17-6 on Friday night. But apparently ESPN.com refuses to acknowledge that a Tebow-led team could actually lose a football game:

A Very Helpful Scouting Report

Ozzie Guillen: Man Or Toad?

This Is Not Helpful

Exhibit A for Instant Replay

Below is an image of Jerry Hairston Jr., reaching first base, and Todd Helton, hauling in a low throw while standing a good three feet off the bag:

The kicker: umpire Tim Welke called Hairston out. I'm no expert or anything, but I was always under the impression that the first baseman had to be standing on the bag, not hanging out in its general vicinity. This must be karmic payback for the botched triple-play call that helped the Dodgers beat the Padres a few weeks ago. File this away with the rest of the growing evidence that suggests baseball could benefit from instituting more instant replay.

Well, That's Awkward.

Mike Scioscia is a Bad Manager, and Other Tidbits

• Okay--Mike Scioscia is not a bad manager. But right now, he's not a very good one. First of all: his lineup card. I'd imagine that an Angels fan's ideal lineup would feature an outfield of Mark Trumbo, Peter Bourjos, and Mike Trout, with Maicer Izturis at third base and Kendry Morales DHing. In this scenario, Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter, and Bobby Abreu are far, far away. Instead, Wells and his .279 OBP have gotten 42 at-bats, while Trumbo and his team-leading (team-leading) 1.224 OPS have gotten 16. And Mike Trout's Triple-A numbers are: .407/.459/.593. Scioscia isn't putting his best team on the field each game.
  
  The more inexcusable part of Scioscia's team management has been his bullpen usage. In fact, it may have been the reason the Angels lost on Tuesday night. With the Angels winning 2-1 with two outs in the bottom of the seventh, Scioscia inexplicably pulled starter Dan Haren, who had thrown just 85 pitches, after he surrendered a bunt single. Dominant lefty setup man Scott Downs entered the game and got out of the jam on four pitches, but again, inexplicably, Scioscia did not send him out to pitch the eighth. Neither did closer Jordan Walden, who has thrown just two innings this season. In came Kevin Jepsen, owner of a career 5.04 ERA and 1.54 WHIP. Predictably, Jepsen allowed the A's to score four runs en route to their comeback 5-3 victory.
  
  So on offense, the Angels' best players (Trumbo, Trout) are losing at-bats to inferior options (Wells, Abreu, Hunter). In the bullpen, the Angels' best relievers (Walden, Downs) aren't pitching the most high-leverage innings, in favor of inferior options (Jepsen and Company). The only ways a manager can really hurt his team, besides putting himself in the cleanup spot or ordering Pujols to bunt, is by screwing up his lineup card and making poor bullpen moves. Scioscia is doing both. I'd be pissed if I was an Angels fan.

• To be impatient is to be human, which is why we often lose interest in hyped young players, even if they're billed as future superstars, because of early struggles or injury setbacks. Once Domonic Brown, Brian Matusz, and Justin Smoak don't instantly become All-Stars, they are quickly forgotten as everyone moves on to fawn over the next wave: Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, and Matt Moore. Which is why it's time to play 'Remember These Guys?' in which former top prospects who have somewhat fallen out of the spotlight, due to struggles with performance or injury, are recognized as Post-Hype Stars for their production so far:
  Matt Wieters: .333/.442/.694, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs
  Jason Heyward: .351/.429/.595, 2 HRs, 4 SBs
  Buster Posey: .375/.429/.500, 1 HR
  Nolan Reimold: .351/.368/.757, 4 HRs
  
  Stephen Strasburg: 1.42 ERA, 0.95 WHIP, 19 K's, 5 BB's in 19 IP, .191 BAA
  Jordan Zimmermann: 1.29 ERA, 0.79 WHIP, .184 BAA
  Kyle Drabek: 1.42 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, .200 BAA
  Rick Porcello: 1.84 ERA, 0.89 WHIP, .226 BAA
  Neftali Feliz: 2.25 ERA, 1.08 ERA, .209 BAA
  Jake Arrieta: 2.26 ERA, 0.89 WHIP, 16 K's, 4 BB's in 20.1 IP, .194 BAA
  
  The pitchers' performances are far more volatile, given that they've got two or three starts under their belt. But it would not be surprising at all if Wieters and Heyward have permanently joined the ranks of the elite. And remember: Wieters is only 25. Heyward is just...22 (!!!).

• Monday night: the Tigers are clinging to one-run lead against the Royals. The bases are loaded with two outs in the ninth inning. Justin Verlander is on the mound, one out away from a complete-game victory. Alex Gordon is at the plate. Verlander then throws the following sequence of pitches:
  -Pitch #127: 100 mph fastball, fouled off.
  -Pitch #128: 100 mph fastball, high.
  -Pitch #129: 100 mph fastball, inside.
  -Pitch #130: 88 mph changeup, strike two looking.
  -Pitch #131: 100 mph fastball, strike three looking, Tigers win 3-2.
  Come on. That's not fair.

• Speaking of ridiculous arm strength...THIS is why no one should ever test A's right fielder Josh Reddick:

• Red Sox reliever Mark Melancon had a laughably poor outing against the Rangers on Tuesday night. With Boston already losing 8-2 in the eighth inning, the following sequence then occurred:
  -Mark Melancon enters the game.
  -Ian Kinsler doubles.
  -Elvis Andrus walks.
  -Josh Hamilton homers.
  -Adrian Beltre homers.
  -David Murphy walks.
  -Nelson Cruz homers.
  -Mark Melancon is removed from the game.
  That Hamilton homer was one of the deepest, like, ever in Fenway Park. Appropriately, Melancon's ERA now sits at 49.50. The former Yankees prospect may very well be an embedded mole sabotaging the Red Sox from within as part of an elaborate sting operation. Other members of Melancon's crack team of double agents: Crawford, Carl and Lackey, John.

• This bit of news perfectly epitomizes the sad state of Minnesota Twins baseball:
  
  "In a stunning turn of events on Tuesday, Twins righthander Scott Baker went in to have surgery on his flexor pronator tendon but exited with Tommy John reconstructive elbow surgery."

• And finally, the chronic erosion of one's love for baseball (and life in general) caused by wearing a Baltimore Orioles uniform over an extended period of time is illustrated by this heartbreaking chronological sequence of Robert Andino headshots:

Being an Oriole takes a toll on the soul.

The Worst Slide of All Time

Courtesy of Kelly Shoppach, catcher for the Boston Red Sox:

Image of the Day

Just hilarious.