Yu Gotta Be Kidding Me, And Other Tidbits

Another thing in Yu Darvish's favor: great hair.

• Darvish gem spawns fresh round of bad 'Yu' puns: Conventional wisdom said that the Yankees' lineup would cause the Rangers' pricey Japanese import Yu Darvish all sorts of problems. In his first three starts, Darvish was criticized for spotty fastball command and a failure to attack hitters--both trends that could be exploited by New York's lineup of patient hitters.
  
  This, however, was not so on Tuesday night. The Yankees had no answer for Darvish, who located his mid-90's fastball to both sides of the plate and threw his diverse assembly of breaking pitches for strikes. He shut out the Yankees into the ninth inning, striking out ten while outdueling fellow countryman Hiroki Kuroda. Granted, there are still concerns about the right-hander's long-term ability to adjust from the Japanese style of pitching once a week. But a Texas rotation that includes this dominant version of Darvish, as well as Derek Holland, Neftali Feliz, Matt Harrison, and Colby Lewis, could be incredible.

• National treasures: The surprising Washington Nationals own the best record in the NL, probably because they just don't allow other teams to score. The pitching staff has the lowest ERA in baseball and allows opponents to hit just .200. Their five starters so far:
  
  Stephen Strasburg: 1.08 ERA, 0.92 WHIP
  Jordan Zimmermann: 1.33 ERA, 0.70 WHIP
  Gio Gonzalez: 1.52 ERA, 0.85 WHIP
  Ross Detwiler: 0.56 ERA, 0.94 WHIP
  Edwin Jackson: 4.26 ERA, 0.84 WHIP
  
  The Nats are 14-4 despite injuries to their two best offensive players, Ryan Zimmerman and Michael Morse. And the Nats are more likely to maintain their winning ways than the NL's other surprise team, the Dodgers, mostly because Strasburg (23), Zimmermann (25), and Gonzalez (26) are not Ted Lilly (36), Chris Capuano (33), and Aaron Harang (33).

Ozzie not likin' what he's seein'.

• Meet Miami's crack relief squad: With the Marlins winning 1-0 in the bottom of the seventh against the Mets on Tuesday, Miami starter Josh Johnson got the first two outs of the inning, then walked Lucas Duda. Johnson was removed from the game and replaced by reliever Randy Choate, who walked Justin Turner. Choate was removed and replaced by Steve Cishek, who walked Scott Hairston to load the bases. Cishek was removed and replaced by Mike Dunn...who, in the most predictable plot twist ever, walked Josh Thole to force in the tying run. The baseball gods showed their displeasure by allowing the Mets to win in the following inning on Lucas Duda's two-out RBI single that literally hit and caromed off of yet another Marlins reliever, Edward Mujica.

That one time when Cliff Lee was a Mariner.

• Sleepless in...New York: Rest assured that Yankees GM Brian Cashman won't be trading with Seattle again anytime soon. He's been burned by Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik each of the last two times they've talked. In July of 2010, Cashman thought he had a deal in place to acquire Cliff Lee from Seattle for prospects Jesus Montero, Adam Warren, and David Adams. But Seattle balked at Adams' physical at the last second and asked for both Eduardo Nunez and Ivan Nova instead, while continuing to shop Lee. The ace ended up with Texas and helped beat Cashman's Yankees in the ALCS that year. Cashman went back to Zduriencik this offseason and swapped Montero and Hector Noesi for Michael Pineda and Jose Campos, but Pineda will require labrum surgery before he throws a pitch for New York. Since the Mariners' front office is now associated with the two biggest 'what ifs' of his career, Cashman won't be asking Zduriencik out for drinks in the near future. At least the decision to hang onto Nova and Nunez seems to be working out.

• And in the Long-Term Department: There are a lot of exciting young pitchers entering baseball right now, from Yu Darvish and Matt Moore to 2011 draftees like Gerrit Cole, Danny Hultzen, and Trevor Bauer. But perhaps the most exciting arm of all is the one who's furthest removed from the majors: Dylan Bundy. The Orioles were lucky to grab Bundy out of high school with the fourth overall pick as he could have been the top overall selection in another draft class. He's incredibly polished for a 19-year-old out of high school, already boasting impressive command of an upper-90's fastball and solid offspeed pitches. He's faced 40 batters so far with Low-A Delmarva and the results have been eye-poppingly good: 21 strikeouts, one measly walk, and zero hits. Dylan Bundy: a name to keep in mind.

Mike Scioscia is a Bad Manager, and Other Tidbits

• Okay--Mike Scioscia is not a bad manager. But right now, he's not a very good one. First of all: his lineup card. I'd imagine that an Angels fan's ideal lineup would feature an outfield of Mark Trumbo, Peter Bourjos, and Mike Trout, with Maicer Izturis at third base and Kendry Morales DHing. In this scenario, Vernon Wells, Torii Hunter, and Bobby Abreu are far, far away. Instead, Wells and his .279 OBP have gotten 42 at-bats, while Trumbo and his team-leading (team-leading) 1.224 OPS have gotten 16. And Mike Trout's Triple-A numbers are: .407/.459/.593. Scioscia isn't putting his best team on the field each game.
  
  The more inexcusable part of Scioscia's team management has been his bullpen usage. In fact, it may have been the reason the Angels lost on Tuesday night. With the Angels winning 2-1 with two outs in the bottom of the seventh, Scioscia inexplicably pulled starter Dan Haren, who had thrown just 85 pitches, after he surrendered a bunt single. Dominant lefty setup man Scott Downs entered the game and got out of the jam on four pitches, but again, inexplicably, Scioscia did not send him out to pitch the eighth. Neither did closer Jordan Walden, who has thrown just two innings this season. In came Kevin Jepsen, owner of a career 5.04 ERA and 1.54 WHIP. Predictably, Jepsen allowed the A's to score four runs en route to their comeback 5-3 victory.
  
  So on offense, the Angels' best players (Trumbo, Trout) are losing at-bats to inferior options (Wells, Abreu, Hunter). In the bullpen, the Angels' best relievers (Walden, Downs) aren't pitching the most high-leverage innings, in favor of inferior options (Jepsen and Company). The only ways a manager can really hurt his team, besides putting himself in the cleanup spot or ordering Pujols to bunt, is by screwing up his lineup card and making poor bullpen moves. Scioscia is doing both. I'd be pissed if I was an Angels fan.

• To be impatient is to be human, which is why we often lose interest in hyped young players, even if they're billed as future superstars, because of early struggles or injury setbacks. Once Domonic Brown, Brian Matusz, and Justin Smoak don't instantly become All-Stars, they are quickly forgotten as everyone moves on to fawn over the next wave: Bryce Harper, Mike Trout, and Matt Moore. Which is why it's time to play 'Remember These Guys?' in which former top prospects who have somewhat fallen out of the spotlight, due to struggles with performance or injury, are recognized as Post-Hype Stars for their production so far:
  Matt Wieters: .333/.442/.694, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs
  Jason Heyward: .351/.429/.595, 2 HRs, 4 SBs
  Buster Posey: .375/.429/.500, 1 HR
  Nolan Reimold: .351/.368/.757, 4 HRs
  
  Stephen Strasburg: 1.42 ERA, 0.95 WHIP, 19 K's, 5 BB's in 19 IP, .191 BAA
  Jordan Zimmermann: 1.29 ERA, 0.79 WHIP, .184 BAA
  Kyle Drabek: 1.42 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, .200 BAA
  Rick Porcello: 1.84 ERA, 0.89 WHIP, .226 BAA
  Neftali Feliz: 2.25 ERA, 1.08 ERA, .209 BAA
  Jake Arrieta: 2.26 ERA, 0.89 WHIP, 16 K's, 4 BB's in 20.1 IP, .194 BAA
  
  The pitchers' performances are far more volatile, given that they've got two or three starts under their belt. But it would not be surprising at all if Wieters and Heyward have permanently joined the ranks of the elite. And remember: Wieters is only 25. Heyward is just...22 (!!!).

• Monday night: the Tigers are clinging to one-run lead against the Royals. The bases are loaded with two outs in the ninth inning. Justin Verlander is on the mound, one out away from a complete-game victory. Alex Gordon is at the plate. Verlander then throws the following sequence of pitches:
  -Pitch #127: 100 mph fastball, fouled off.
  -Pitch #128: 100 mph fastball, high.
  -Pitch #129: 100 mph fastball, inside.
  -Pitch #130: 88 mph changeup, strike two looking.
  -Pitch #131: 100 mph fastball, strike three looking, Tigers win 3-2.
  Come on. That's not fair.

• Speaking of ridiculous arm strength...THIS is why no one should ever test A's right fielder Josh Reddick:

• Red Sox reliever Mark Melancon had a laughably poor outing against the Rangers on Tuesday night. With Boston already losing 8-2 in the eighth inning, the following sequence then occurred:
  -Mark Melancon enters the game.
  -Ian Kinsler doubles.
  -Elvis Andrus walks.
  -Josh Hamilton homers.
  -Adrian Beltre homers.
  -David Murphy walks.
  -Nelson Cruz homers.
  -Mark Melancon is removed from the game.
  That Hamilton homer was one of the deepest, like, ever in Fenway Park. Appropriately, Melancon's ERA now sits at 49.50. The former Yankees prospect may very well be an embedded mole sabotaging the Red Sox from within as part of an elaborate sting operation. Other members of Melancon's crack team of double agents: Crawford, Carl and Lackey, John.

• This bit of news perfectly epitomizes the sad state of Minnesota Twins baseball:
  
  "In a stunning turn of events on Tuesday, Twins righthander Scott Baker went in to have surgery on his flexor pronator tendon but exited with Tommy John reconstructive elbow surgery."

• And finally, the chronic erosion of one's love for baseball (and life in general) caused by wearing a Baltimore Orioles uniform over an extended period of time is illustrated by this heartbreaking chronological sequence of Robert Andino headshots:

Being an Oriole takes a toll on the soul.

Stop Talking Up the Tigers, And Other Tidbits

• There's something about the Detroit Tigers that has everyone all in a tizzy. They're ranked #1 in the Power Rankings for ESPN.com, FoxSports.com, and CBSSports.com. That last website has accompanied Detrot's ranking with this bit of sickening hyperbole:
  
  1. Tigers. Evidently the Doug Fister injury was just to give everyone else a chance to stay close.
  
  The Tigers do have the best chance of making the postseason out of all 30 teams, given their weak division. However, they are not the best team in baseball. They have three legitimate stars that cloud everyone's judgment: Justin Verlander, Miguel Cabrera, and Prince Fielder. But for the Tigers to win 96 games last season, they needed remarkably good health (outside of Brennan Boesch) and career seasons (or half-seasons) from Verlander, Cabrera, Victor Martinez (now out for months), Jhonny Peralta, Alex Avila, Delmon Young, Doug Fister, and Jose Valverde.
  
  Every single one of those players (except, well, Cabrera) will experience natural regression to the mean this season (and Martinez will regress all the way to zero, considering he may not suit up until the playoffs). Also, most of the Tigers' rivals in the AL Central will be stronger in 2012 than they were in 2011. Prince Fielder and full seasons from Fister and Young can't possibly make up this gap by themselves. So the question is: can the Tigers make up for the expected regression through improvement in other areas?
  
  That means: if you think the Tigers are the best team in baseball, you are betting on Austin Jackson, Brennan Boesch, Ryan Raburn, Max Scherzer, Rick Porcello, and Drew Smyly. I'm not ready to do that.
  
  If I were ranking the best teams in baseball, the Tigers would likely come in sixth, after the Rangers, Yankees, Rays, Cardinals, and Angels. They're comparable, I think, to the Red Sox and Diamondbacks. Good teams, but not among the best in baseball, like everyone seems to think.
  
  In the words of Charles Barkley: I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
  
  
• While everyone's been fawning over the Tigers, the most impressive team for me has been the Cardinals, and it's not particularly close. Gone are Pujols and LaRussa; Chris Carpenter is out indefinitely; and Adam Wainwright is coming off Tommy John surgery. None of it has mattered in their 5-2 start. Their offensive stars so far:
  
  David Freese: .429/.448/.750, 3 HR, 10 RBIs
  Lance Berkman: .375/.565/.625, 6 BBs
  Carlos Beltran: .320/.393/.680, 3 HR
  Rafael Furcal: .407/.467/.593
  Yadier Molina: .304/.385/.739
  
  Freese looks like a star. Beltran looks like a steal. The Cardinals have the best offense in the National League, and the starting pitching has been impressive even without Carpenter. They look like the favorites in a muddled National League.

• What are the Reds doing with Aroldis Chapman? They're clearly in win-now mode given the Votto and Phillips extensions, but the highest-ceiling pitcher on the roster is wasting away in middle relief. He seemed to put his command issues behind him during an outstanding spring, yet he was still bumped to the bullpen in favor of the relic formerly known as Bronson Arroyo. He struck out five Cardinals in two scoreless innings on Wednesday. When will he get another chance at starting? There's no in-between for Dusty Baker: either he's pushing Mark Prior to 130 pitches per start, or he's limiting Aroldis Chapman to five innings a week out of the pen.

• The team with the worst ERA in the National League? The Giants. Even after Barry Freaking Zito threw a complete-game shutout against the Rockies at Coors Field. The main culprit here is Tim Lincecum, who has been brutally shelled early on. His fastball has averaged under 91 mph, and he hasn't located it well, either. Given how miserable San Francisco's offense is (gotta love that Emmanuel Burriss/Brandon Crawford double-play combo), there's no way the Giants make the playoffs without Lincecum at his best.

• Johnny Damon signed with the Cleveland Indians, and his contract allows him to opt out on a specified date after Grady Sizemore returns. If he wasn't already perceived as a mercenary looking to bolster his Cooperstown chances with a few extra hits, he must be now.